The Power of Goodbye

It's been a minute since I have been back on my blog chronicling anything - so much have happened since I made my first post and I honestly don't even know where to begin...I will say that 2009 is almost over and BOY am I happy as it has been quite a year. I should have know what this year would have in store for me given that I started it off with a breakup. First was the Pediatrician and then the Pastor and then the House Husband...now I am happily single again and wondering WHEN I will ever even THINK about pursuing my next relationship. I have discovered though the phenomenal power of goodbye and being able to walk away from something that doesn't work in the hopes of finding something that will.

I am back on track with my goals after several romantic distractions and will be back at Starbucks armed with my latte and laptop working on my novels and actually getting something published and fulfilling a lifetime dream of being an Author. I believe I have enough experiences for a BOOKSTORE of novels - so the only thing keeping me from my dream is my focus and dedication and my ability to identify distractions and walk away from them.

I am grateful that I have friends who still believe and support me and for that I am more than willing to make my dreams a reality...after all, some us DO play the devil and THEN write the novel.

Goodnight.

And so the story begins...

It's 6:47 in the morning and I should be in the gym. I didn't feel like it so I opted to take the laptop and cruise the net for a while until it was time for the three "s" (shit, shower and shave) and get dressed for work. I came across a blogspot for a Porn Star who was apologizing for comments he made on his blog...blah...blah...blah...blah. Bottom line his private feelings captured online, hurt his fans and his "production" company and he didn't mean to come across as another ABM - angry black man nor was he aware that people actually read his shit.

Then it hit me - he's a porn star with a blog. I'm a part-time writer without the discipline to keep a journal and hone my craft by writing something daily - why the hell didn't I have a blog? Hello!! So the story begins...

I found me a place on the great world wide web to capture my thoughts and by some stretch of the imagination some hopeless lurker will actually bounce across my blog by happenstance and read my stuff. Wow. The wonders of the modern age - huh? But what would I blog about?

Ever since Carrie Bradshaw took up that laptop in Sex & The City and starting jotting down her pondering about sex in the city for the New York Star, gay men everywhere have began to chronicle their inner thoughts (and thighs) through blogs, emails, IM's, Facebook, MySpace, Adam4Adam and every social networking website with a free admission and the requirement of an email address. Having a profile up somewhere seem to have become the status-quo, doesn't matter where, doesn't matter the reason or the audience or the intention. It's existence is enough. I wanted my blog to have meaning.

I didn't want to blog about my writing, my life, my romances (the present and the ill-fated), my friends or my work (God knows I talk about that a lot as it is). So I decided to meet my potential lurkers where they lived and breathed - I would write about sexuality. One sexuality in particular which is nearest and dearest, of course what else? Typical.

It's now 7:15 and I have to go, as based on my 2008 New Year's Resolution of arriving 15 minutes early and leaving 20 minutes late for work everyday I owe myself about one and a half weeks so far and its only the last week of march - go figure. Of course I will return later today or tomorrow to continue now that like all the others I have a medium of self expression. I'll need to ponder whilst taking my shower on future items to blog about but knowing the complexity of my social and romantic sex life I am sure there will be plenty. Let the blogging begin...